Cheers to 18 years!
Sometimes you blink, and 18 years of marriage go by—just like that.🥂 21 years together, 18 married… our relationship is officially old enough to vote, enlist, + start its own adventure. And we’ve got plenty more adventures ahead.
Today, I’m feeling extra grateful for a partner I miss and fully support being halfway around the world, chasing his dreams while cheering me on in mine.
Here are 20 things I’ve learned in 20+ years with Justin:
- Love is a daily—sometimes moment-to-moment—choice, not just a feeling.
- “Love languages” may be imperfect, but showing up in a way your partner feels seen and understood is real.
- Minor miscommunications and tiny unspoken hurts stack up. Talk them out.
- Speak up. Express your needs. No one is a mind reader.
- Emotional intimacy is built on tiny moments: inside jokes, shared looks, memories only you two get.
- Choose someone who’s energetically committed to their life like you are to yours.
- Take care of your body+expect the same. You’ll shape each other’s habits over time.
- Prioritize mental health. Support each other but seek outside help when needed.
- Maintain your own friendships; no one partner can meet every need.
- Make memories: go on the trip, take the detour, chase a big dream together.
- Believe the best of your partner. Assume good intentions.
- Be curious, not judgmental. Forgive quickly like a goldfish (thanks, Ted Lasso).
- Don’t avoid tough talks. Resentment festers in silence.
- Build tiny daily rituals of connection: coffee chats, evening walks, anything that anchors.
- Practice staying physically close, even in small, imperfect ways.
- Talk about tech: when to use it, when to put it away,+how it fits into a shared life.
- Be a team: in public+private. Build each other up!
- Marriage is work, but meaningful work. If it’s too hard, seek support.
- Growth is good, just grow in ways that support one another.
- You never “arrive.”; find joy in the journey, together!🥰