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Cheers to 18 years!

Sometimes you blink, and 18 years of marriage go by—just like that.🥂 21 years together, 18 married… our relationship is officially old enough to vote, enlist, + start its own adventure. And we’ve got plenty more adventures ahead.

Today, I’m feeling extra grateful for a partner I miss and fully support being halfway around the world, chasing his dreams while cheering me on in mine.

Here are 20 things I’ve learned in 20+ years with Justin:

  1. Love is a daily—sometimes moment-to-moment—choice, not just a feeling.
  2. “Love languages” may be imperfect, but showing up in a way your partner feels seen and understood is real.
  3. Minor miscommunications and tiny unspoken hurts stack up. Talk them out.
  4. Speak up. Express your needs. No one is a mind reader.
  5. Emotional intimacy is built on tiny moments: inside jokes, shared looks, memories only you two get.
  6. Choose someone who’s energetically committed to their life like you are to yours.
  7. Take care of your body+expect the same. You’ll shape each other’s habits over time.
  8. Prioritize mental health. Support each other but seek outside help when needed.
  9. Maintain your own friendships; no one partner can meet every need.
  10. Make memories: go on the trip, take the detour, chase a big dream together.
  11. Believe the best of your partner. Assume good intentions.
  12. Be curious, not judgmental. Forgive quickly like a goldfish (thanks, Ted Lasso).
  13. Don’t avoid tough talks. Resentment festers in silence.
  14. Build tiny daily rituals of connection: coffee chats, evening walks, anything that anchors.
  15. Practice staying physically close, even in small, imperfect ways.
  16. Talk about tech: when to use it, when to put it away,+how it fits into a shared life.
  17. Be a team: in public+private. Build each other up!
  18. Marriage is work, but meaningful work. If it’s too hard, seek support.
  19. Growth is good, just grow in ways that support one another.
  20. You never “arrive.”; find joy in the journey, together!🥰

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