How Heavy Should You Lift? RPE, RIR, and Rating your Effort in Real Time

📩 Buckle up, because this is a long and resource-packed post, and probably one that you'll want to save for future reference or share with a friend!

Why care about how heavy you are lifting, anyway?

Takeaway #1 from the Stanford Lifestyle Medicine conference on Healthy Aging:

Building and maintaining muscle is non-negotiable as we age. It’s not just about moving more—it’s about learning how to push yourself with purpose. That means being aware of your effort level and gradually increasing it over time (aka progressive overload-more on that in a minute!).

Resistance training is the most effective way to fight sarcopenia (age-related muscle loss). Stronger muscles don’t just look nice or help you move better—muscle also strengthen bone. Here's how that works: your tendons connect your muscles to your bones; as your muscles grow stronger from strength and resistance training, they pull harder on your tendons, which in turn tug harder on your bones, keeping your skeleton robust! 💪

A strong skeleton matters, because as we age, weaker muscles and loss of balance contribute to the risk of falls—and, if we have brittle bones (also known as osteoporosis) when we take those falls, serious injuries like hip, wrist or even spine fractures are more likely, which in turn are associated with a dramatically elevated mortality risk. 😰 Estrogen loss due to (peri)menopausal hormone shifts can accelerate this process, meaning women are at greater risk than men.

Luckily, bone is living tissue and is always being remodeled. This means that If we intervene by sending our bodies a new signal to get stronger (by lifting weights), we can absolutely achieve a different outcome -- and it's never too late to start (or restart) to build strength and enjoy the many benefits - including improved bone density!

OK, so, how heavy are we talking?

Even if you are following the above and acknowledge that strength training probably deserves a place in your routine, you might be wondering what exactly I mean when I say you should be lifting "heavy."

Here's the thing...I can't tell you how heavy you should be lifting!

Now, hear me out. The reason for this is the reason I give as an answer for most questions my clients ask— it depends. I know, I know—you just want me to give you a number or way to calculate it and outsource having to think about it that much, but...when was the last time a mindless approach really served you well...in any area of life? 🧐

So, to review:

✅ you should be lifting heavy
❌ I cannot tell you how heavy that is

Why the heck not?? Well..a lot of reasons, including but not limited to: it depends on any number of factors:

your age (chronological, yes, but more importantly biological / most importantly your "training age" or how much experience you have lifting weights)
related to this, your current fitness level and circumstances (former athlete and postpartum? never lifted before but life-long walker? yogi with hypermobility?)
related to that, your goals (performance-related, e.g. be able to run a half-marathon pain-free? aesthetic-related, e.g. look more toned and lose body fat? something else?)
your literal present-moment sensations in your body (well-rested and hydrated? over-extended and stressed? somewhere in-between?)

Given I know none of these factors, there's no way I could simply tell you what weight you should be lifting. If any trainer tells you otherwise, I'd suggest some gentle curiosity and asking a few questions! Furthermore, although calculators exist to calculate your % 1 RM and work backwards to suggest weights for you, I wouldn't recommend that method either, for most folks.

What I would recommend for everybody, beginner to advanced lifter, is to develop an awareness of your own personal sense of how hard your lifts feel, an ability to rate that effort level, and adjust accordingly.

Even if you're an experienced strength-training athlete, relying on your own Rate of Perceived Exertion (RPE) rather than having a trainer or app compute your weights for you might be a brand new experience, so let's take a moment to get better acquainted with the concept. By understanding RPE, you'll be able to select the right weights to ensure that you're progressing effectively through your workouts.

(Spoiler alert: a month from now, you might even be surprised to discover you're getting better results by relying on your own judgment and intuition than you did by letting someone else tell you how much to lift!)

🎛️ What is this RPE thing?

Rate of Perceived Exertion is a simple way to gauge how hard you're working during a workout, using a scale from 1 to 10. It helps you tune into your body, allowing you to select the right weight based on how each set feels. Instead of prescribing exact weights, my program encourages you to self-assess and adjust your training intensity week by week.

Because each Build with Becky program runs for 5 weeks, here is an example of how RPE will typically progress each week as you increase the intensity level:

🤔 Week 1: Deload & Baseline (RPE 6/7) - It should feel moderately hard but manageable. This week is all about getting comfortable with the workout structure and any new exercises. I call this "baby giraffe week," because we're a bit wobbly, a bit unsure, and still learning new concepts and exercises. Because the purpose is to practice, Build with Becky reduces the number of working sets in each block. (Note: anything that feels easier than an RPE of 6 should be considered a "warm-up" set—important, but not counted as a working set—so if you find you only hit a 4 or 5, increase the weight and try again!)
😅 Week 2: Add a 3rd set and adjust weight or reps (RPE 7/8) - Form should stay tight, and you should feel focused. It should feel more challenging, but like you're still in control
😤 Week 3: Increase weight or reps (RPE 8/9) - This should feel tough, and you might experience minor form breakdown. Don't be surprised if you match past personal records this week! For exercises that target isolated muscles, keep weights a bit lower to avoid over-exerting them
😵‍💫 Week 4: Add a set, more weight, or reps (RPE 9/10) - Going for an RPE of 9-10 means you're brushing up against your absolute limit. This is your most intense week with an aim to hit new personal records, but always within safe parameters. (Safety first! Never hesitate to ask for a spotter from a fellow gym mate or staff member, or use the safety bars and bail out if needed!) You want this week to be challenging enough to feel like you are ready for a rest or deload next!
🦒 Grace Week - I call the fifth week your "grace week," where you can take a step back, catch up on missed workouts, practice pushing your favorite lifts for one bonus week, enjoy lighter movements and cardio, attend to other areas of your health and wellbeing (massage, social connection, etc) or simply rest and recover. This week adds flexibility to your program, ensuring you can stay consistent without burning out in the long-term.

📝 Reps In Reserve (RIR)

The concept of Reps In Reserve can help you judge your RPE by prompting you to consider how many reps you have left in the tank before reaching failure. It's a helpful concept to keep in mind as you perform each movement in your workout. After each lift, pause to consider "how many more reps could I have completed with good form at this weight?" - and, depending on your answer, you'll be able to judge your RPE and made adjustments as needed. Here's a rough RPE-to-RIR translation:

RPE 6-7: 3-4 reps in reserve (RIR)
RPE 7-8: 2-3 RIR
RPE 8-9: 1-2 RIR
RPE 9-10: 0-1 RIR (max effort)

Click here for a free visual of the Build with Becky RPE/RIR chart to rate your exertion level for yourself! This is also built in each Build with Becky Program as a reminder both at the top of each workout as you set your effort level of that day/week and as you progress through each lift, as a reminder of how hard it should feel, so that you can adjust accordingly.

💪 How to Progress Week to Week

To get stronger, we have to keep sending our bodies a signal that we need more muscle. Muscle is hard to build, so to send a strong enough message to our nervous systems, we must ask more of our bodies by challenging them over time. This is known as progressive overload.

To achieve progressive overload and continue building strength safely, without injury or plateau, aim to increase your RPE (effort level) each week. You can progress in a variety of ways depending on your goals, preferences, or how your body is feeling that day:

Increasing Load: - adding more weight to your lifts
Increasing Endurance - Performing more reps at the same weight
Increasing Volume - Adding another set to each exercise of your workout
Improving Technique - Focusing on form to improve your mind-muscle connection and work through a greater range of motion
Changing Tempo - lighter weights typically lead to a faster tempo, whereas heavier weights may require a slower one; you can also extend your eccentric phase (also known as a "negative", usually the lengthening/lowering part of the exercise) phase of an exercise, add pulses or isometric holds/pauses to change how lifts feel over time.

The goal is to challenge yourself in a way that feels right for you, keeping the intensity within safe limits while ensuring continuous progress. There is no one way to do this; however, over the long-term, most of your lifts should be approaching an 8 out of 10 RPE or the point where you feel like you have ~2 solid RIR in order to ensure you keep pushing progressing (or, at minimum, maintaining).

📈 Other signs your RPE is increasing

Face of Effort - as your RPE increases, you may notice you're making some… interesting…faces 🤣🫠
Velocity - likewise, as your intensity goes up, you may find that your velocity slows down—the last 2 reps should feel especially challenging. Quick tip: exhale on the hardest part of each movement. This helps with posture, bracing the core, and managing intrabdominal pressure!

🦒 The Power of a Grace Week (aka taking a deload)

I encourage you to take advantage of your grace week! Note that this can be used at any point in your program to catch up, recover, or explore other forms of movement. It's your time to recharge and come back stronger. At the same time, if you know you haven't been consistent lately, it's okay to forgo a grace week and move right into the next program, too.

RPE, RIR, and Self-Assessing to keep Progressing

At the end of the day, RPE is all about learning to listen to your body and adjusting your workouts to match how you're feeling. By tuning into your own experience, you'll make smarter decisions about the weights you use and how hard you push yourself.

Note that as your training age increases, a month or a year from now, you might be surprised to find that much heavier weights elicit the same or even lower RPEs! This means that you have gotten stronger - congratulations! You are enjoying the benefits of progressive overload and building muscle and strength. Keep it up!

This stuff can be a bit complicated to wrap your mind around and apply, but that's why I'm here to support you every step of the way! If you have any questions, just hit reply to email me, or leave a comment. I'm always happy to help! 💪

Alternatively, if you feel like you have a decent grasp of the concepts of RPE and RIR, consider sharing this guide with a friend or family member who might benefit. I see so many people going through the motions of strength training without pushing their effort level at the gym. Don't let yourself or your friends or family be one of them, and prevent the risk of age-related decline by progressing your strength training safely and strategically, today! 💌

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